How to Get People to Like You
The answer is simpler than you think.
Getting along with people is a necessary life skill. Being kind to people you dislike is actually even more important.
Here are three bulletproof ways to be likable in all situations:
ONE – Have Integrity
Always remember that your reputation walks into every room before you. It’s a cakewalk to be kind to someone who is always nice to you. The trick is being kind to someone who does not return the favor.
To remain likable (even to someone who dislikes you), don’t lower yourself to meet someone else’s bad behavior. When you retaliate or meet cruelty with cruelty, you compromise your integrity. Resist the strong temptation to do that at all costs.
It isn’t easy! Recently, I went through a painful experience with someone who was consistently unkind to me. I am quick-witted and can easily floor someone verbally- if I so choose. I made a conscious decision not to make that choice. Instead, I focused on maintaining my integrity under all circumstances.
Do this and the people who do like you will like you more for it. Those who dislike you simply lose the power to change you. Most importantly, acting kindly takes the power away from anyone who may opt to thwart your goal to be kind under all conditions.
TWO – Think Before You Speak
The world is overrun with sensitive people. Even those who appear hardened have soft spots. If you want to be likable, you have to concentrate on being kind. The kindest among us can hurt another by blurting out what we are thinking.
Thinking before you speak takes practice but is well worth the reward. Wherever you are, think about the people that are in the room with you. Get to know them and focus on building them up. If you are supportive and accepting of others, you don’t have to worry about thinking before you utter every word.
This step is all about empathy. Stop one second before you say something and consider how it might impact the other person. Usually, your inner guru will warn you that you’re treading on thin ice. Listen to your inner voice and simply shut up. It really is that simple.
THREE – Make Every Day Groundhog Day
If you’ve seen the movie, “Groundhog Day,” then you know that the lead character wakes up in the same situation, in the same place, day after day. Nothing changes. Every day is a do-over. Likable people treat every day like Groundhog Day. They leave the previous day’s resentments at the door, walk into every room smiling (even when they want to spit nails), and remain true to themselves day after day after day.
Acting like a steady Eddy is not an unselfish act! When you maintain consistency, you make it nearly impossible for people to feel anything but respect for you. I’ve had people tell me that when I do this, I show weakness. I vehemently disagree.
It takes great restraint to remain true to yourself. Whatever happens, don’t give anyone the power to change who you want to be or become.
People will flock to you when you remain honest, stay true to yourself, and practice consistency.
They’ll also (almost all) like you.